Pavel Mayer – Diplomatic Idioms unmasked

Currently the world seems to be in crisis more than usual, and we can hear governments say sentences like „The United States is deeply concerned by the Turkish government’s detentions of opposition members of parliament„. But what does that mean?

What if instead of being deeply concerned the United States would be

a) gravely distressed

b) deeply disturbed

c) gravely alarmed

d) seriously concerned ?

Diplomatic language serves a number of conflicting purposes, and often it seems that words have meanings that are not obvious. While diplomatic language tries to avoid misunderstanding, it also tries to conceal and deceive. I have been looking for a layman’s dictionary of diplomatic language for some time, but not been successful so far. While there are vocabulary lists, I could not find any explanation even of the meaning of the formalized preambulatory and operational phrases used in UN-Resolutions.

So today I decided to put myself into the shoes of a diplomat and come up with my own small dictionary using the internet, life experience and my brain. I may have oversimplified, exaggerated and joked, but I think I found some truth. Comments from professional diplomats or scholars would be very welcome.

Enjoy.

Accepts – we can not do anything about it and won’t even try
Affirming – we said it many times already but you probably forgot
Alarmed by – we have to think about it
Appeals – we can’t force you and won’t pay you, but you will get karma points if you do it anyway
Approving – we have nothing against it
Authorizing – if you do it we won’t complain
Aware of – we suspect
Bear all consequences – mostly an empty cliche threat implying the use of force
Bearing in Mind – we almost forgot
Believing – we are not sure
Better understanding of each other – there are huge differences in opinions
Calls – someone should do something about it
Calls Upon – X should do something about it
Candid dialogue – our opinions diverge and we were unable to communicate
Cannot ignore – we will take action soon
Comments – we don’t care at all
Condemns – we don’t like it at all and you will regret it some day in the future
Confident – there still might be a small chance
Confirms – we don’t want to talk about this any more
Congratulates – we hope you get through with this and proceed
Considering also – we can not agree on one course of action
Considers – we have not made up our mind yet
Contemplating – we have not ruled it out yet, but this is a long shot
Convinced – we have suppressed our doubts
Decides – we could not get a majority consensus on this for a long time, but now you have it
Declaring – we wrote it down for you
Deeply Concerned – this sucks, and once we get a clue what to do about it we even might act
Deeply Conscious – this sucks, but we have to ignore it
Deeply Convinced – my grandfather used to say
Deeply Disturbed – we are scared shitless and might do something stupid
Deeply Regretting – we fucked up and now its too late to do anything about it
Deplores – you are a piece of shit
Designates – we delegated our responsibility
Desiring – we don’t know how to get it, but miracles happen every day
Dialogue is beneficial – the parties are still a long way off from their goal at the moment, but being able to sit down and talk things over is already an achievement
Draws the Attention – be more careful, someone is watching what you are doing
Emphasizes – this is common sense but you are obviously to stupid to get it otherwise
Emphasizing – the chairman of the committee insisted on this
Encourages – we know it is difficult and dangerous and no one wants to do it
Endorses – we like it even though it wasn’t our idea and would help you if we only had the means
Exchanged views – each party expressed its own views but no consensus reached
Expecting – we know it won’t happen anytime soon
Expresses – we have to say something neither we nor you should care much about
Expressing its Wish – we are a bit ashamed, but we must really have this
Expressing its satisfaction – told you so
Fulfilling – we can’t believe it but is seems it went according to plan
Fully Alarmed – we are panicking
Fully Aware – it came to us as a shock and we are still recovering from it
Fully Believing – we still have doubts
Further – one more thing
Further Deploring – you are an even bigger piece of shit than we originally imagined
Further Recalling – you might have forgotten, but we didn’t
Gravely Alarmed – we also heard about it and don’t like it, but this is an internal matter of a sovereign country that is not worth the squeeze – don’t expect interference from us
Gravely Concerned – it sucks and we are scared, but when we act, it will suck even more and everyone will be scared, so we will sit on our hands and cry
Gravely Distressed – we are already involved and it is not going well, but we can’t give up now
Guided by – fortunately greater minds than us already came up with something in the past
Have our reservations – we refuse to comply
Having Adopted – a majority has voted for this
Having Considered – shut up, we know it is complicated, but this is the best we could come up with
Having Considered Further – believe us, we know what we are talking about
Having Devoted Attention – we even spent valuable time on this minute detail
Having Examined – we told someone to look into it
Having Heard – we read it on the internet
Having Received – we were briefed by some secret service
Having Studied – someone important did personally browse some reports on that
Invites – if you can’t help yourself do it, we don’t really care
Keeping in Mind – you know it was your fault
Let us wait and see – this is the last warning
Nationalize – seize and control
Noting Further – we can’t forget about it although we would like to
Noting with Approval – good boy!
Noting with Deep Concern – we won’t forget it soon, but we don’t know even where to begin unraveling this mess
Noting with Regret – we fucked up, but let’s forget about it
Noting with Satisfaction – we’ve had you over the barrel
Noting with Zest – we have you over the barrel and look forward screwing with you for the time to come
Observing – it somehow came to our mind
Offers – let’s make a deal
Praise – not in total agreement.
Proclaims – no one cares but we have to say it anyway
Reaffirming – even we are fed up with repeating this over and over
Recalling – we enjoy reminding you again
Recognizing – we ignored it long enough
Recommends – you don’t have to do this
Referring – this has already been dealt with in detail somewhere else
Regret – we are not satisfied
Reiterating – we apologize for having to say it again
Reminds – How often do we have to tell you this?
Renews – it did not work well in the past and we all almost forgot about it, but let’s try again anyway
Requests – comply or else
Reserve the right to react further – we will take revenge
Resolves – we have some hope things will be better in the future
Seeking – we have to be careful
Seriously concerned – we may interfere
Solemnly – we think this would deserve a special ritual if we only had the time
Strongly – we keep all our options open
Taking Note – we won’t forgive you easily
Taking into Account – this has influenced our position
Taking into Consideration – we don’t know yet if this will influence our position
Thorough exchange of views – no agreement reached and the parties had a fight
Transmits – we declare it to be the problem of someone else from now on
Trusts – you must do it because we say so
Unhappy – in serious conflict
Urges – bad things are happening and we don’t know how to stop it
Viewing with Appreciation – we can’t believe you really pulled this off
We cannot possibly tolerate – we are seriously considering war
We express deep anger – there is nothing we can do about it now
We will review our position on this matter – you’ve taxed our benevolence long enough and we are backtracking
Welcoming – we are just being polite