Currently the world seems to be in crisis more than usual, and we can hear governments say sentences like „The United States is deeply concerned by the Turkish government’s detentions of opposition members of parliament„. But what does that mean?

What if instead of being deeply concerned the United States would be

a) gravely distressed

b) deeply disturbed

c) gravely alarmed

d) seriously concerned ?

Diplomatic language serves a number of conflicting purposes, and often it seems that words have meanings that are not obvious. While diplomatic language tries to avoid misunderstanding, it also tries to conceal and deceive. I have been looking for a layman’s dictionary of diplomatic language for some time, but not been successful so far. While there are vocabulary lists, I could not find any explanation even of the meaning of the formalized preambulatory and operational phrases used in UN-Resolutions.

So today I decided to put myself into the shoes of a diplomat and come up with my own small dictionary using the internet, life experience and my brain. I may have oversimplified, exaggerated and joked, but I think I found some truth. Comments from professional diplomats or scholars would be very welcome.

Enjoy.

• Accepts – we can not do anything about it and won’t even try
• Affirming – we said it many times already but you probably forgot
• Alarmed by – we have to think about it
• Appeals – we can’t force you and won’t pay you, but you will get karma points if you do it anyway
• Approving – we have nothing against it
• Authorizing – if you do it we won’t complain
• Aware of – we suspect
• Bear all consequences – mostly an empty cliche threat implying the use of force
• Bearing in Mind – we almost forgot
• Believing – we are not sure
• Better understanding of each other – there are huge differences in opinions
• Calls – someone should do something about it
• Calls Upon – X should do something about it
• Candid dialogue – our opinions diverge and we were unable to communicate
• Cannot ignore – we will take action soon
• Comments – we don’t care at all
• Condemns – we don’t like it at all and you will regret it some day in the future
• Confident – there still might be a small chance
• Confirms – we don’t want to talk about this any more
• Congratulates – we hope you get through with this and proceed
• Considering also – we can not agree on one course of action
• Considers – we have not made up our mind yet
• Contemplating – we have not ruled it out yet, but this is a long shot
• Convinced – we have suppressed our doubts
• Decides – we could not get a majority consensus on this for a long time, but now you have it
• Declaring – we wrote it down for you
• Deeply Concerned – this sucks, and once we get a clue what to do about it we even might act
• Deeply Conscious – this sucks, but we have to ignore it
• Deeply Convinced – my grandfather used to say
• Deeply Disturbed – we are scared shitless and might do something stupid
• Deeply Regretting – we fucked up and now its too late to do anything about it
• Deplores – you are a piece of shit
• Designates – we delegated our responsibility
• Desiring – we don’t know how to get it, but miracles happen every day
• Dialogue is beneficial – the parties are still a long way off from their goal at the moment, but being able to sit down and talk things over is already an achievement
• Draws the Attention – be more careful, someone is watching what you are doing
• Emphasizes – this is common sense but you are obviously to stupid to get it otherwise
• Emphasizing – the chairman of the committee insisted on this
• Encourages – we know it is difficult and dangerous and no one wants to do it
• Endorses – we like it even though it wasn’t our idea and would help you if we only had the means
• Exchanged views – each party expressed its own views but no consensus reached
• Expecting – we know it won’t happen anytime soon
• Expresses – we have to say something neither we nor you should care much about
• Expressing its Wish – we are a bit ashamed, but we must really have this
• Expressing its satisfaction – told you so
• Fulfilling  – we can’t believe it but is seems it went according to plan
• Fully Alarmed – we are panicking
• Fully Aware – it came to us as a shock and we are still recovering from it
• Fully Believing – we still have doubts
• Further – one more thing
• Further Deploring – you are an even bigger piece of shit than we originally imagined
• Further Recalling – you might have forgotten, but we didn’t
• Gravely Alarmed – we also heard about it and don’t like it, but this is an internal matter of a sovereign country that is not worth the squeeze – don’t expect interference from us
• Gravely Concerned – it sucks and we are scared, but when we act, it will suck even more and everyone will be scared, so we will sit on our hands and cry
• Gravely Distressed – we are already involved and it is not going well, but we can’t give up now
• Guided by – fortunately greater minds than us already came up with something in the past
• Have our reservations – we refuse to comply
• Having Adopted – a majority has voted for this
• Having Considered – shut up, we know it is complicated, but this is the best we could come up with
• Having Considered Further – believe us, we know what we are talking about
• Having Devoted Attention – we even spent valuable time on this minute detail
• Having Examined – we told someone to look into it
• Having Heard – we read it on the internet
• Having Received – we were briefed by some secret service
• Having Studied – someone important did personally browse some reports on that
• Invites – if you can’t help yourself do it, we don’t really care
• Keeping in Mind – you know it was your fault
• Let us wait and see – this is the last warning
• Nationalize – seize and control
• Noting Further – we can’t forget about it although we would like to
• Noting with Approval – good boy!
• Noting with Deep Concern – we won’t forget it soon, but we don’t know even where to begin unraveling this mess
• Noting with Regret – we fucked up, but let’s forget about it
• Noting with Satisfaction – we’ve had you over the barrel
• Noting with Zest – we have you over the barrel and look forward screwing with you for the time to come
• Observing – it somehow came to our mind
• Offers – let’s make a deal
• Praise – not in total agreement.
• Proclaims – no one cares but we have to say it anyway
• Reaffirming – even we are fed up with repeating this over and over
• Recalling – we enjoy reminding you again
• Recognizing – we ignored it long enough
• Recommends – you don’t have to do this
• Referring – this has already been dealt with in detail somewhere else
• Regret – we are not satisfied
• Reiterating – we apologize for having to say it again
• Reminds – How often do we have to tell you this?
• Renews – it did not work well in the past and we all almost forgot about it, but let’s try again anyway
• Requests – comply or else
• Reserve the right to react further – we will take revenge
• Resolves – we have some hope things will be better in the future
• Seeking – we have to be careful
• Seriously concerned – we may interfere
• Solemnly – we think this would deserve a special ritual if we only had the time
• Strongly – we keep all our options open
• Taking Note – we won’t forgive you easily
• Taking into Account – this has influenced our position
• Taking into Consideration – we don’t know yet if this will influence our position
• Thorough exchange of views – no agreement reached and the parties had a fight
• Transmits – we declare it to be the problem of someone else from now on
• Trusts – you must do it because we say so
• Unhappy – in serious conflict
• Urges – bad things are happening and we don’t know how to stop it
• Viewing with Appreciation – we can’t believe you really pulled this off
• We cannot possibly tolerate – we are seriously considering war
• We express deep anger – there is nothing we can do about it now
• We will review our position on this matter – you’ve taxed our benevolence long enough and we are backtracking
• Welcoming – we are just being polite